The Ghost of you and me.

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The Ghost Of You and me.

Welcome

Hi welcome to my blog!
HATE IT OR LOVE IT, its still my blog

Profile

Calvin Matthew
18
Cancer
FRIENDSTER.
Some things that you ought to know bout me.
I dont give a F**K what you think bout me.
I am me,and no1 will change it.
I'm cruel in my language and i may hurt your feelings with it.
Dont get on my wrong side.
Once your there,there is no ticket returning to the other side.
Dont you even dare point a finger at me without any points.
Never judge me. I hate when people do that.
Erm,what more.ask me if you have any question..

Tagboard

Credits

Edited By Melancholyy-
DeviantART.
Coldwindz Basecode.
Is12806 Basecode.
Photoscape .
The song: Ghost of you and me.
All the changes in my blog has been done by my lil sis EQA.Thank you so so MUCH!!!

Other

I love my GOD
ALLAH
I love my Family.
MoM -a person whom i'm
thankful for giving
birth to me
Father -I'm so like you
Sister Fadilah Hanim-always kind to me
Brother Shahirin -life wont be the
same without you
Sister in law Nadwah-My box full of secrets
I love my Aunties&Uncle.
Aunty Far&Husband -You guys are the best
Mami&Husband -You guys are the best
Uncle&Wife -You guys are fun
Mak Ngah&LateHusband -I luv you guys
Paman Zali&Wife -Awsome
Uncle Dik&Wife -I miss chilling with
Cik Nah&Husband -nice to be related
I love my Cuzzins.
Ayu -I love you so much
Kak Erli -Cool to be related to you
Mira -Watsup DOK!!
Arwah AJE -Your the best Adek
sedare...miss having you
around
Kak Aidah&Husband -Fun to be with
Kak Ean&Husband -Good day mate
Abg Mamat -Cool
Arwah Zaid -I missed you so much
i wish your still here
with us. :(
Shirin -Shall we buy that???
Shamin -Stop playing with the com
when i'm around can???
Jaja -Your a GOTH&I'm an EMO.
Ina -Hey Watsup!!
Suhaila -Best Motivator
Rafiq -Best Dealer
Ita -Pleasent moments with
you in the past
Afiq -your one of a kind
I Love My Blood Brothers and Sisters.
Shikin -Love you
Iskandar -Your the Best
Sharizad -I dont have to say
what i have to say
I love my friends.
Hafiz -Lunch???
Kamini -What would i ever do
without you
Vera -Your my dumbo
Richard -Haiz Sian Lah
Yuen Chung -Buddy
Siok Huan -I miss you
Siti Sarah -12 APRIL!!!
Syahrum -Idk what to write
Shahrana -What are best friends
for???
Nadiah -Nice to talk with
Azie -Sis....i'm all ears
Hafiz -Haiz...go on and forget me
aku kan siape
Syai -Lets shake the fun out
Haikal -Busu...do what you like
Irfan -Lets SHOP!!!
Zack -Thanks for being there
My GA
If i forgot anyone else,do tell{:

ACHING ME

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I'm aching in all places

after riding the bicyce for a long time from 1 end of east coast to the other end

to Mac and back to the Pit

and sending the bic back

OUCH

my BUTT really hurts

my knee's feels like they are gonna fall off

a sleepless night full of riding and smoking

TOUGH me and my cuzzins suffer the pain now

BUT

we had FUN

and we had LAUGHTER

so it was a no regret kinda thing

and in the morning

Taufik and Nikmat wanted to leave

but it was block due to he OCBC bike race thing

the security that the OCBC hire

really need to be tot a LESSON

so STUCK UP

alamak

PER!!!

AND THE SIGNS

it says

CARPARK CLOSE

but they never say the road was close

so Taufik and Nikmat had to wait

call the hotline they say they will send and escot but they never came

i left them for a while,go send my bicycle

come back

THEY ARE STILL THERE

wat is this???

SINGAPORE prioratise on customer service

BUT WAT THE FUCK IS OCBC DOING???

haiz

but overall we all still had fun

especially when ME,MISS ELLY,AJ,and MIRROR

went on the last bicycle ride

4 people

3 bikes

TOTAL WACK/FUN

haha

BTW

one of my friends brother was actually hospitalize

coz he had a lump on his left cheek

so lets all take a small moment

to pray for his well beings OKEY

...

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...

so thats it for now...till next time

6:50 AM

14th Fe-16th Feb

Monday, February 16, 2009

a COUPLE of days ago

in every CORNER of the world

the ATMOSPHERE was filled with LOVE

VALENTINE

and i have a CONFESSION to make here

i got a HEART from someone

FOR VALENTINE!!!

IF any of you guys were to see me LATELY

you would see its on my NECK

BUT

i have to get this 1 FACT stated

YES,i am in love,but NO, i'm not in a relationship

i ADMIRE that you actualli got it for me

but

i never TOUCH my love TWICE

AWWWWW

So how did i CELEBRATE my valentine???

erm

went out in the MORNING

WATCH movie

afternoon go to my GRANDPA'S house

and thats it

no FURTHER DETAILS shall be given

NENI-NENI-PU-PU

haha

how CHILDISH could i be???

OKEY

so moving ON

today i got PISSED of by my group member's

the LEADER said that he wants to present the hardest part for our PROJECT MANAGEMENT

and what i said was,WHY?

his ans,damn BLOOD-BOILING

"I want to show teacher my KNOWLEDGE"

i had enough of all this things

YES,i know you want to PROVE that your the best

go AHEAD

i dont give a damn about it

BUT

why do you want to SHOW teacher your knowledge

when u put like less then 10% of your"knowledge" into the group???

as a leader,your have certain RESPONSIBILITY and COMMITMENT

but i dont see that happening

i'm not trying to be cruel or anything

BUT ITS HARD CORE FACTS

where were you when i was doing the powerpoint SLIDES???

where where you when NADIA was editing the powerpoint slides???

where were you when NADIA was writing the scripts???

where were you when NAZMUL was compiling the video???

AND NEVER HAVE I HEARD YOU SAID

"HEY,LETS MEET TO DISCUSS (PM)

ERGH

AND YOUR FRIEND,LAGI BAGUS

OUH,i cant meet

i can MEET any days but not on --------

CANT YOU JUZ SACRIFICE 1 FUCKING DAY

just for the sake of this project???

just this 1 day

not everyweek on that day

JUST THIS 1 DAY for only 1 time

next week presentation

how prepared are you guys???

do you guys know that we are presented as a group

not as a solo PERSON

one mistake done by 1 PERSON

every member suffer.

its too late to REGRET
and i never regret mthe choices that i made in my LIFE
so i'll just have to

make do with the FACT that i have you mmm as my group members

and suffer every moment init.

I WILL NOT HESITATE TO ANS ANY QUESTION MISS LYNA SHOOTS AT US ABOUT OUR GROUP

i WILL NOT let my marks suffer just becoz some people are irresponsible.

MARK MY WORDS

ITS A WHOLE NEW ME

A WHOLE NEW SIDE

YOU MAY NEVER SEEN IT

BUT I HAVE UNLEASH IT BEFORE

AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN.

5:25 AM

The scar still BURNS in my HEART

Monday, February 9, 2009

My scar still BURNS to think of it

the words that he use BROKE the GLASS image of myself into MILLIONS of PIECES

and now i feel like an ORPHAN

"IF YOUR LIKE THIS,I WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU DEAD"

and even

"HIS SICK?WHAT DOES HE THINK I DO?GROW MONEY ON TREES?GO POLY-CLINIC"

those were the words out of his mouth

did i ask to be SICK?

I'm A BURDEN to him

yet i ask

why bring me to LIFE

why DECIDE to have another CHILD

if you only bring UNHAPPINESS to him/her

in this case,him,ME

YES

my FATHER said those words to ME

and EXPECT me to just forget whatever HE said the END of the DAY

how can a SON

forget those WORDS

i have never been so HURT in my ENTIRE life

i've been keeping this MATTER for to long in me

and its just WIDENING the SCAR DEEPER

to THINK that

a child which is a GIFT of happiness for every PARENTS

has now become a BURDEN

so why shud I talk to him if i am considered DEAD and i'm a burden??

up till DATE he has OFFERED me money twice

a tactic in WHICH i use to fall into

BY using MONEY,anyone in my family can SOFTEN my HEART so that I would FORGIVE

but as the YEARS pass

i GREW up in so many WAYS

that i took a DECISION this TIME

i will NOT forgive HIM

and when the TIME comes

I'll go without LOOKING back at what happens TO him

Call me a HEARTLESS son

but i have the right to do it

yes i am still UNDER his ROOF

yes i am still EATING his MONEY

BUT he said the words

I'm A BURDEN

WOULD RATHER HAVE ME DEAD THEN ALIVE

so dont try and get back to me

consider me dead

OLD MAN

you only have a daughter and a son

this is my confession to the whole word

as i can no longer keep it to myself

YOU ABOVE ALL SHUD KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

'WHAT GOES AROUND,COMES BACK AROUND,AND IT WILL BE WORST'

5:58 AM

tHIS is rEAL-tHIS is mE-i'M eXACTLY wHERE i'M sUPPOSE to bE

Thursday, February 5, 2009

CALVINM.CALVINM.CALVIN.CALVIN.CALVINM.CALVI

If anyone were to ask WHat am i LIKE

my answer would be

i'm

SELFISH,RUTHLESS,ARROGANT,HEARTLESS,CRUEL,RETARD,

HoWeVeR

No matter how much i TRY

I just cant get RID of of the FACT

and I'M SICK and TIRED of this stupid FEELING of mine

I can NEVER get rid of this KIND heart of mine

no MATTER how much I try to be

HEARTLESS,VICIOUS,CRUEL

no matter how much I try & try to HATE somebody

i can never ever do it

I'll always go back to the thinking

Forgive and Forget

(but not for my dad fortunately..big HuHa)

i can never let people

come too close to me

my problems are for myself

i can handle it on my own without any aid of others

???WHY???

i guess its becoz of my pride and honour

BUT

whenever anyone else have problems

i juz cant leave them alone

not to dig out the problem and try to fix it

but to comfort them and to distract them from the main issue

i hate seeing a sour face on a person

i want to see people smile and live life to the fullest

and enjoy what life has to offer

THATS WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT

EITHER ENJOY WITH ME OR DONT

I DONT GIVE A F**K ABOUT YOUR CHOICE

i'm the kindda guy whom

you take me for who i am

or just forget about knowing me

WHEN YOU DONT WANT ME,BUT NEED ME...I'LL BE THERE TO STAY

WHEN YOU WANT ME,BUT DONT NEED ME...I'LL LEAVE AS THE WIND BLOWS

LoVe Me Or HaTe Me

It'S yOuR cHoIcE

CALVINM.CALVINM.CALVIN.CALVIN.CALVIN.CALVIN

6:50 AM

I'm Blessed With Everything

Monday, February 2, 2009

In My Life

I am Blessed

with

many things

My Health

My Wealth

My Family

Last but not Least

My Friends

Whatever I Want or what I Desire

i always get it

But yet somehow

i feel as tough

i dont know

somethings missing

like i havent done something that my heart desire

its like a hole deep in my heart

an empty space

haiz

HOWEVER

i have to do this

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

THANK YOU GOD FOR ALL YOUR GIFTS

YOU GAVE ME LIFE
YOU GAVE EARTH FOR MY HOME
I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME
KEEP MY FAMILY & FRIENDS AWAY FROM HARM
KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ALL THE MISERIES

GIVE THEM HOPE IN TIMES OF NEED

GIVE THEM THE HAPPINESS THAT THEY DESERVE

AND FORGIVE US ALL FOR WRONGS THAT WE'VE DONE

FOR OUR

Pride, Wrath, Greed, Envy, Lust, Sloth and Gluttony

SPARE US FROM YOUR WRATH

AND SPARE US FROM THE PUNISHMENT WE'RE GONNA FACE AFTER DEATH

FOR WE ARE JUST YOUR HUMBLE MORTALS

AMIN/AMEN

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

anyway

THANK YOU EQA for helping me out with my blog skin

I REALLY LOVE IT

WuHoOO

ouh....and i have my napfa test tomorrow

OMG

wonder how i'll do it

surely i'll fail everything

i am so unfit

haha

i cant believe i juz confessed that in my blog

so many people gonna read it and laugh at it

but

I DONT GIVE A S**T

about it

say wadever you wanna coz at the end of the day

i'm juz being myself

5:56 AM

The Ghost of you and me.

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ACHING ME

14th Fe-16th Feb

The scar still BURNS in my HEART

tHIS is rEAL-tHIS is mE-i'M eXACTLY wHERE i'M sUPPOSE to bE

I'm Blessed With Everything